Rageed online dating
When it comes to choosing our mates, it takes a few minutes to know whether we are attracted to someone.
First comes appearance, than the tone of voice, and finally, the content of their conversation (we are drawn to people with similar levels of intelligence, values, and beliefs).
This is an excellent primer to understanding attachment and offers useful strategies for self regulation when the attachment system is activated.
However, we caution against thinking too simplistically about attachment.
The questions are intended to really see person, both literally and metaphorically. Reading the book alone is a great starting point for building self-awareness but we also recommend discussing your personal insights with a therapist who can help you further unpack your self discoveries.
Since the dawn of time dating has been a challenge and often times one wonders how so many people ended up with partners in the pre internet age.
Six months later, two pairs of those subjects got married and invited the lab to their weddings.
Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, explains that we are programmed to determine whether we like someone within the first few seconds of meeting; a skill that helped our ancestors distinguish between friend or enemy.
Broadly attachment can be divided into categories of secure (comfortable with intimacy), anxious (preoccupied with relationships and worried about rejection), and avoidant (discomfort with intimacy and independent).
‘Attached’ helps you examine your own attachment style, recognize the attachment style of others, and improve communication in romantic relationships.
From her international research on this topic, she provides us with some interesting alternatives; suggesting that we (specifically women) can learn from other cultures and the variety of intimacy and kinship out there in the modern world.
Before thinking that everyone has a hotter sex life than you, this podcast shares different stories of people who are sleeping alone at night.
Another pitfall of being in love is the deactivation of neural pathways that help us make judgments about others, hence “love is blind.” We fall in love blind, dumb, and addicted but hopefully emerge with a more stable attachment based relationship.